The States
by Walelu
Summary: Alfred has his hands full when he's supposed to be the responsible one. Lots and lots of OCs. T for language. Technically complete, but more to come.
1. When California and Texas Talk

Carmen and Martina hated each other. They were sisters, among the southernmost states that had once been under Mexico. Oh how different the sisters were now. But they were both as outspoken as always. Sometimes Alfred just wished everything with them wasn't so political.

He had his head down on the table, having groaned a while ago now. The sisters bickered with him in between.

"Well maybe your people wouldn't be coming to my state if yours wasn't so darn backwards!"

"Its not backwards, its like, social equality!"

"Social and equality don't even go together!"

"Of course they do! Like, how else can we like, be treated the same!?"

"Respect!"

"So like, there's unhelpable inequality in the world?"

"Unhelpable isn't a word." Martina paused, collecting her thoughts, before continuing, "politically, we're all equal, slavery isn't a thing anymore, and everyone can do what they want."

"But like, the homeless aren't equal!"

"Then stop having your government seize the tiny houses that people spend thousands on making for them!"

"Guys..."

"They like, need to understand that it should be like, a temporary thing, not like, a permanent way of life!"

"THAT'S IDIOTIC AND STUPID!"

"Girls?"

"YOU'RE IDIOTIC AND STUPID!"

"GIRLS!"

"WHAT!?" Both girls screeched in unison and spun to look at Al. He leaned back in his chair. The girls really were related.

"Can we not fight today... please?"

Both girls stuck their bottom lip out, in the same manner, "fine..." Carmen muttered. Her deep brown hair was cut short and 'frosted' white. Alfred thought it looked like someone dropped a bucket of dandruff on her head. He supposed it was pretty when she brushed it properly, which she almost never did.

"Thank you."

"Why're we even here?" Martina had the same hair color, but it was long and braided, the braids going an inch past her hip. Al wondered if it was cumbersome but had enough sense not to ask.

"The intense migration from California and the similar migration into Texas."

"Because?" Carmen looked annoyed. Not hard to see why, her people were building so many houses all over the state. Trying to grow the small towns. Most the houses in the rural areas were beautiful, large, and empty. People were leaving Cali.

"Well most the people that leave your state," he motioned to Carmen, "end up in your state." He motioned to Martina. "As it stands now, California is in debt, with a quickly collapsing infrastructure." Carmen flinched slightly, "While Texas is thriving." Martina stayed stoic. "Maybe you can give your sister some tips?"

"Seriously, why should I like, listen to her racist, redneck a-"

"CARMEN!" Alfred quickly regained his composure. How could these people, only a few years younger than him physically, be so unruly!?

"Sorry..." she muttered only loud enough for him to hear. He let it be.

"Martina, any suggestions?" He turned to the sixteen year old. Under his breath and in a warning tone he muttered, "nicely." She nodded slightly. Good thing she was more mature than her fifteen year old sister.

"Well, lower taxes might help. I don't have a state tax, they've only gotta answer to Al."

"Hey!" Alfred was ignored.

"Like, are you freaking insane! Seriously like, how do you manage to pay even your politicians!?"

"Well property's a tad cheeper but taxed a bit more, so all works out."

"Thats totally stupid."

"Carmen." Al had a hand holding up his head, it pressed into his forehead in his annoyance.

"Fine, any other 'fancy' ideas?" She used air-quotes on the word 'fancy.'

"You taking your smart Alec butt and sh-"

"Martina!"

"Lower minimum wage."

"That's it. Alfred, seriously, I'm like totally not listening to her. She even has a weird accent. Like she couldn't fit in anywhere but her own state, seriously."

"You've gotta accent too." Martina shot back.

"Seriously!? Like, no I don't!"

Martina used an obnoxiously high voice to mimic Carmen's. With a little too much accuracy, "Like seriously, you totally do."

"You two are hopeless."

"Like read between my totally great, and rising, minimum wages."

"I've got my own nuclear weapons, Carmen."

Alfred slammed his head into the table.


	2. A Stranger (day before) Thanksgiving

in which the states think Alfred is like Steve from Stranger things. Idaho's name is Steve. I'm going to have Al spend thanks giving with the states, and Christmas with the other countries. Merry Christmas! I might make a oneshot for christmas because this is technically a late thanksgiving, but it wouldn't have any states in it, they have their own was of celebrating. Oooo theres an idea... Most of the states are in their preteens, unless they have a strong and well known native history, or were at one point a nation of their own.

oOo

"Hey Alfred?" Jacob was trying to get his attention. His full name was Jacob Silentearth, which was always strange to Alfred, the last name just seemed... out of the ordinary. He was the state personification of Wyoming. Although he claimed to be raised by the Cheyenne...

"What?" Alfred was trying to read a comic.

"I think you're Steve."

Downstairs, Steve Flan, personification of Idaho, could be heard yelling something angrily at them from upstairs, but they were too far away to hear.

"Obviously I'm not Steve..." Alfred set his comic down, he wanted to understand the statement a bit further. A loud grumble from Steve echoed through the house.

"Oh my Gosh, he totally is!" Maxine Waters, Indiana, leaned forwards, laughing.

"What are you two talking about?" Now Alfred was plain confused.

"Stranger things." Maxine stated, matter of factly. "I'm mad Max."

"Never seen it..." Alfred shrugged.

"WhAT!?" Jacob's voice cracked as he practically screeched. He yelled at the same time as Steve, who burst into the room.

"Did someone say Stranger Things!?" He took a look at Alfred and his eyes widened, "oh that's what you guys meant..."

"I haven't had the time, the president's been super busy and half the time he has only a slight idea what he's doing... Its like Washington all over again."

"You're alikening Trump to Washington?" Jacob asked, squinting slightly.

"Neither one of them had any idea what they were doing..."

"Back on topic," Maxine waved a hand before an ensuing argument could take place, "see steve, he's totally Steve!"

"He is!"

"Lets make him watch the show!" Jacob butt back in, "its totally right up his alley!"

"Yeah!"

"Guys, do I get a say?"

"NO!" All the cousins yelled it at the same time, rounding on him and making him shrink back.

oOo

"Steve's kinda a jerk."

"Shuddup Al," Maxine waved a hand, while Steve shoved the oldest back down when he tried to get up, "Jake, play the next season."

"There's two?"

"well you're not a jerk, are you?" Maxine asked.

"No..."

Jacob pointed the remote at the telivision.

oOo

"How does this make me Steve?"

"He doesn't get it guys!" Maxine looked positively astounded.

"We wasted the day before Thanksgiving on this? Guys I've gotta cook!"

Secretly though, Alfred loved the show and binged it again, two weeks later. After all, he had loved the 80s. Those years were totally tubular yo.


End file.
